Harder Than I Thought

I have a few fun blogs in the pipeline that I need to work on and post, but I need to find the time first! In the meantime, I thought I would talk about my initial reactions to my first two weeks as a full-time student and a graduate assistant. Um, it was harder than I ever anticipated! For some reason, I think I was overly confident about how this would all flow and my ability to just jump in and be a rock star student. I mean, I have done this before, right? I was taking classes while working full-time at SMU. This was gonna be a cake walk! Let me just say that I do not know how my dear friend AMS does it.... She is in a grad program at SMU, a mom, pregnant, and working full-time, which for her always mean more than the obligatory 37.5 hours a week. I am humbled.

I typically think of time management and organization as my strong points, but they failed me as I kicked off the year. I felt frantic and unorganized and rushed. My schedule is not a routine yet. I chose to participate in activities like a cohort potluck, my birthday fun, and J's birthday fun that took away from time I really should have been reading and writing. And I have lots of work to do. More than I remember... My dear husband assures me that I was this busy the first time around in graduate school, but either I have forgotten or blocked it from my memory. I still insist that I was not reading 300 or more pages a week with weekly writing assignments in all classes and bigger projects already looming in the near future.

My grad position is hectic as I figure out how my schedule is going to work, how I will get my work done in only about 10 hours of office time (as I am bound and determined to not consistently go over my 20 hours a week - I do not get paid enough to commit full time work to this position!), and my new staff have lots of questions and needs which are often not things I can respond to quickly and easily as it is all new to me, too.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the apartment. Our kitchen is a wreck and the rest of it could use a little attention.

However, on the flip side, I am super excited about my classes. I love what I am studying and I feel like this was why I chose all this craziness. I am inspired and excited. I love being surrounded by people who have similar passions and interests. I get involved in fascinating conversations that make me feel very intelligent and wise (and sometimes not so much!). As I have spent time individually with each of my Community Mentors and started the process of getting to know them, I become more excited about my year of working with them. They have lots of passion, enthusiasm, and energy. I am blown away by the wisdom and maturity of some. I know I did not have my life and plans together like they do already. I have been able to continue using my student affairs counseling and practitioner skills with some of them to talk about life and their fears and ideas for the future.

This year is going to challenge me like no other has from a mental standpoint, but I think I am ready. Now, I really should get back to studying as I do want to get out and enjoy the day a bit as well.