Harder Than I Thought

I have a few fun blogs in the pipeline that I need to work on and post, but I need to find the time first! In the meantime, I thought I would talk about my initial reactions to my first two weeks as a full-time student and a graduate assistant. Um, it was harder than I ever anticipated! For some reason, I think I was overly confident about how this would all flow and my ability to just jump in and be a rock star student. I mean, I have done this before, right? I was taking classes while working full-time at SMU. This was gonna be a cake walk! Let me just say that I do not know how my dear friend AMS does it.... She is in a grad program at SMU, a mom, pregnant, and working full-time, which for her always mean more than the obligatory 37.5 hours a week. I am humbled.

I typically think of time management and organization as my strong points, but they failed me as I kicked off the year. I felt frantic and unorganized and rushed. My schedule is not a routine yet. I chose to participate in activities like a cohort potluck, my birthday fun, and J's birthday fun that took away from time I really should have been reading and writing. And I have lots of work to do. More than I remember... My dear husband assures me that I was this busy the first time around in graduate school, but either I have forgotten or blocked it from my memory. I still insist that I was not reading 300 or more pages a week with weekly writing assignments in all classes and bigger projects already looming in the near future.

My grad position is hectic as I figure out how my schedule is going to work, how I will get my work done in only about 10 hours of office time (as I am bound and determined to not consistently go over my 20 hours a week - I do not get paid enough to commit full time work to this position!), and my new staff have lots of questions and needs which are often not things I can respond to quickly and easily as it is all new to me, too.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the apartment. Our kitchen is a wreck and the rest of it could use a little attention.

However, on the flip side, I am super excited about my classes. I love what I am studying and I feel like this was why I chose all this craziness. I am inspired and excited. I love being surrounded by people who have similar passions and interests. I get involved in fascinating conversations that make me feel very intelligent and wise (and sometimes not so much!). As I have spent time individually with each of my Community Mentors and started the process of getting to know them, I become more excited about my year of working with them. They have lots of passion, enthusiasm, and energy. I am blown away by the wisdom and maturity of some. I know I did not have my life and plans together like they do already. I have been able to continue using my student affairs counseling and practitioner skills with some of them to talk about life and their fears and ideas for the future.

This year is going to challenge me like no other has from a mental standpoint, but I think I am ready. Now, I really should get back to studying as I do want to get out and enjoy the day a bit as well.

Sometimes There is a Down Side to New Adventures

It is no secret that I love to travel. I could easily rattle off about 20 places I want to visit and could probably come up with another pretty long list of places I think I might like to live, too. But, it can be hard having that passion and drive to always keep moving around. Transiency can be fun, but it is also not all it is cracked up to be because you are always leaving great things and people behind. I think it is on my mind because yesterday was my birthday. Just about anyone could tell you that I am fairly indifferent when it comes to my birthday. I appreciate the love and attention that I receive, but I am rarely counting down the hours to my “special day.” Probably my fondest memories come from my 30^th birthday party where my friends quietly stole control of the planning from me and gave me an unforgettable bash. Of course, it is memories like these that perhaps are making me a bit blue and nostalgic today.

First, let me clarify, I had a lovely day yesterday. I got an awesome Camelback backpack and some funny socks from Robert. I was strongly encouraged to not study and to enjoy my day. I did this, however, I am regretting it a wee bit today as I have stacks of reading to finish before tomorrow. We had a fun afternoon together cooking my birthday dinner. I know that may not sound fun to everyone, but I picked out some of my favorite dishes to share with some Flagstaff friends, and R and I really enjoy cooking together. We have not done it a whole lot since moving here because our counter space is about 2 feet long, which is not conducive to two people working side by side unless you are very patient or careful! We made hummus and baba ganoush with pita chips and carrots for dipping. We made spinach pie (like one giant spanokapita, only easier) and grilled fennel couscous salad. At my request, Robert made me a banana cake with caramel frosting.

We shared this feast with A and J, who as you can tell are already frequent flyers in my life here, B that I work with and her little son L, and two new friends from my SUS program, C and T. It was exactly how I wanted to spend my birthday, so I was happy and content at the end of the day. I also received phone calls and texts from family and friends as well as a million facebook messages. I think it is the last bit that makes me a bit sad and lonely right now. In particular, I miss my family. Some might find that a little weird as I am not super tight with most of them. My most regular contact is about weekly phone calls with my mom, and talking with my siblings is sporadic at best. The thing is, that up until three years ago, I saw them about once every few months. Consider my travelling history, that is pretty good. Life has made it pretty fortunate and easy for me to make my way back to Madison and Louisville either through proximity, job perks, or my desire to keep my relationship alive with my significant other after moving to Dallas.

After R and I got married and he moved to Dallas, my trips home dropped off tremendously. Suddenly, with two of us, it meant driving instead of flying, and of course, he had been a part of my motivation to keep returning so regularly. Instead of being there every three or four months, it dropped to about twice a year. It is now September, and I have not been back since December and it looks likely that I won’t be back until this December. This is the longest I have ever gone without seeing my family. The trip is no longer drivable (well, in a reasonable person’s world, anyways), and we are definitely poorer than we were before with me being a grad student and all!

The hardest part about leaving an old life behind and starting a new one is that the old life keeps trucking on without you. I know that is very elementary, but until you experience missing out on significant events like your baby sister’s high school graduation, friends’ weddings and birthday parties, and the birth of your niece, it doesn’t completely hit you. I had no idea how much I would hate not getting to be a full time aunty. How can you love someone so much you have never even met?!? Thank goodness for the electronic age and quick access to pictures, but it isn’t quite the same. I suppose, it is time to get off the “woe is me” bandwagon. I know I made the choices that brought me here, and I hope it is evident from all my other stories, that I am really happy here. Today, though, I just missed my old life with my circle of friends and my family back in Madtown and the Ville.

And So It Begins!

After a whirlwind 6 weeks, fall semester has arrived. Again, it felt weird to not be actually opening a hall, but I certainly didn’t mind too much. I got a lot more sleep than I usually do at this time of year and my stress level was almost none existent! I did help out with Opening Day. My job involved directing traffic for the new freshman arriving at our largest residence hall, which has over 800 students. The Residence Life department does not have centralized desks or check in so each student checks in at their specific residence hall. It was a warm afternoon, and I ended up with a sunburn on my legs, but it beat opening a building in the 100 degree August heat of Texas!

The next day, I FINALLY got to meet the students that I will be supervising and working with this year. We spent the whole day in training, so I really didn’t get much 1:1 interaction with them, just a series of first impressions. Overall, I am excited about the group. As with any group of individuals, I have a detected a few that may be a little more challenging to work with than others, but that’s how it always works, right? On Saturday, we had some team building with both mine and A’s staff at the NAU Challenge Course. We started off with the high ropes challenges, and I fully went into it planning to just be a spectator and cheer the others on as I have a pretty healthy fear of heights. I can’t even jump off the 3 meter diving board. All of sudden, A came up to me, and said that he thought we should try it. After a momentary pause, I said, okay, let’s do it! I don’t think he fully expected me to be so agreeable, and I saw a little glimmer of terror in his eyes as we went to stand in line.

So, then it was our turn. The object was that we each climbed up separate poles to a wire extended about 20 feet high in the air in between the poles. We were to inch towards each other holding onto a rope that would allow for support until we got to the middle. We then had to use each other and a second rope to start inching across an intersecting wire to get to the end. The trick is that the middle rope does not extend at all, so one of us has to be the support and hold onto the rope while stretching out as far as possible so that the other can inch across the wire to the end and then follow.

I was in pretty rough shape once I got about ten feet in the air. I paused, and my leg started “doing the Elvis.” If you don’t know what that means, then just picture me doing my best imitation of Thumper the rabbit. After some deep breaths, I got myself under control, and started climbing again. The mounts to hold onto and put your feet on are spread pretty far apart. So, just the climbing itself was pretty challenging in trusting that I had the strength and balance to pull myself up from mount to mount. Often I would have to stretch up on my tippy toes and just barely be able to grasp the next mount and then have to pull myself up. I got to just below the wire and got intimidated again and stopped. I looked over at Aaron, and told him I didn’t know if I could do it. He and everyone on the ground kept encouraging me to keep going, so I got my shakes under control and kept going. Finally, I was on the wire and once again, I was like what the hell am I doing? With Aaron’s constant encouragement and pausing to refocus and balance, I kept going. Did I mention that time seems to creep along while you are doing this? We finally met in the middle and attempted to go down the intersecting wire. After trying to figure out the best method, Aaron asked to opt out, and I agreed. Of course, then he almost pulled me down with him as he wouldn’t let go of me as his person brought him down! Luckily, he realized that he needed to let go, and I didn’t go crashing to the ground! So, we didn’t complete the challenge, but it was still a victory for me. And, I am never doing that again!

The morning, did provide the opportunity for some great interactions with my CMs and continued to get me excited for truly starting my job. I started meeting with them this past week, which was the first week of classes. We had our first staff meeting, and I started biweekly 1:1s with half of them. I thought the staff meeting went fairly well, and the individual meetings went really well. This is not surprising as I enjoy those interactions much more and are more my style.

This week has brought many adjustments. The campus has changed completely, and I feel like it sort of snuck up on me. It is funny how quickly we forget what the campus should really be like and get used to the empty college campus of summer, especially when you start out a new job in the summer. Suddenly, the campus is full of life and people and noise. Everywhere you look, there are people everywhere at most hours of the day. There is the energy and enthusiasm that always comes with the start of a new school year. It is actually pretty cool to be on such a lively campus, even at night. As I have walked about campus, I see people lounging in the grass, playing sand volleyball, throwing Frisbees, smoking hookahs, biking, skateboarding, walking… I think you probably get the picture.

The other big adjustment is starting my classes and figuring out my new routine and schedule. I feel like I spent all week being late or almost late as I rushed from one thing to the next. The change time between classes can be a little crazy, especially if you are on a bike. As you approach intersections you have to look four different ways and assess for both pedestrians and other bikers. Once you arrive, then you have to find a place on one of the bike racks. The amount of bikes on this campus is surreal. Then you have to fumble with your lock, and after the whole fiasco with Robert’s bike, I am super paranoid and lock both wheels and the frame, which takes time to weave and secure. I guess it will get easier as the year progresses.

When I think about the classes themselves, I become both exhilarated and freaked out. I love what I am taking, and they are all aligning perfectly with my interests. However, I think I had forgotten about the work load of graduate level classes. All have an extensive amount of reading and an almost weekly writing assignment, interwoven with larger projects and papers. I am certainly going to be busy, but at least I will be enjoying the subject material. It is also really fun to be surrounded by such a diverse cohort that has similar philosophies but so many varying interests and passions. With each day, this feels more and more right. I hope that continues to be my semester.

Flagstaff Adventure: Devil's Bridge

For the first time since my arrival in Flagstaff on July 12, I went down the mountain. Well, not the whole way down to the Valley, but about 3000 feet down to Sedona. Talk about a drastic change in terrain and temperature! We took the scenic route, 89A, which winds through a canyon and suddenly the pine trees start disappearing and you begin seeing massive red rock cliffs. As usual, I was in awe of the scenery and could not get enough of it. As we drove the hour to Sedona, I began to truly realize how much there really is to see in do in this area. It seemed liked we saw countless spots to pull off, hike, camp, enjoy the view, etc. I have no idea how we will see it all, over the next two years…

Since it was the weekend, the roads were busy. In many locations near popular destinations, cars lined the roads as people walked to where they wanted to go to avoid paying the $20 parking fee. Can’t say that I blame them! Sheesh! In particular, Slide Rock State Park is a popular destination with a natural rock slide you can ride into the river. Will have to check that out one of these days.

Sedona itself was hopping with visitors. It definitely looks like a tourist destination with its main thoroughfare of shops, art galleries, and restaurants. I would like to go back at least once and wander the main strip a bit. Touristy or not, there did seem to be a few cool and interesting looking places to poke around in for an afternoon. Again, you can’t beat the setting: A cute little town nestled in the midst of red rock mountains in every direction. Sedona is also known for being super new agey… more on that later when I actually go visit. Once we arrived at the Red Rock District, we found a place to park shortly off the turn off. The road was pretty rough and vehicles with low clearance (like ours) were discouraged from trying to drive to the trail head. As a result, we walked about a mile in to the trail head for Devil’s Bridge.

The trail was fairly short, but it felt like a pretty intense hike because it was about 1:30 in the afternoon with the sun directly overhead and temperatures in the 90’s. Again, definitely the warmest weather that I have experienced since moving to Flagstaff. The trail allows you to circle around to underneath the arch so that you can get views from that direction. In order to reach the top of the bridge, you have to climb a pretty steep rock staircase. The climb is definitely worth it as you will see from the pictures.

When we first approached the arch, I got really overwhelmed and with the perspective I had, said there was no way I was going out there! The bridge looked super narrow and precarious. I did go around so that I could get a better view and then I realized that it was actually a lot wider than I initially thought, so as you can tell, I did venture out to the middle. However, my fear of heights took over, and I went nowhere near the edge. Of course, several of the others that I was with were much more bold and adventuresome. This freaked me out, too. I kept having visions of them slipping and falling. Needless to say, I felt a certain amount of relief when we were all done exploring and started heading back. Anyways, it was super awesome. Definitely my favorite vistas of all the hikes so far.

Cori’s Pictures

R’s Pictures